BayCon V

Kage Baker was not one to stay up late at Cons. She insisted on as full a night’s sleep as she could get, so as to be sharp for the next day.

I have neither her self-discipline, nor her sleep patterns. It’s 1 in the morning now, and I have just wandered back to the room – been watching the Regency dancing for 4 hours. It was a lovely evening, ending with the most beautiful of waltzes – the Congress of Vienna waltz. It was Kage’s favourite …

I’ve decided that the way this grieving thing works for me has nothing to do with a normal progression of Time. It doesn’t get easier as Time passes. Pain doesn’t lessen and sorrow doesn’t end. From time to time, though, I just stop feeling it. Then, when I least expect it, it crashes over me like a tidal wave, as raw and new as ever.

So I am learning to enjoy the respites, and survive the returning waves. I suspect that the Congress of Vienna waltz will always hurt. Still, it is the loveliest waltz in the world … so I am certainly not going to give it up.

I don’t dance, anyway. I sit on the sidelines and knit, and am available to hold purses, watch coats and occasionally assist with a loose stay or a torn hem. It’s a classical role for an older lady for whom the dances bring more memories than partners … besides, someone has to watch the hats and shawls.

More on BayCon tomorrow, Dear Readers – though I shall be on the road most of the day, jaunting home after an early morning panel. To which end, going to bed would be a great idea.

Who knows what adventures still await me?

About Kate

I am Kage Baker's sister. Kage was/is a well-known science fiction writer, who died on January 31, 2010. She told me to keep her work going - I'm doing that. This blog will document the process.
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2 Responses to BayCon V

  1. johnbrownson says:

    When it comes to it, Kathleen, the only way to survive grief is to experience what is still good in life, as best we can, when we can. Friends, love, Spring and the Congress of Vienna. Thinking of you with fondness. -B.

    Like

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