Kage Baker loathed going into the hospital. She said frequently, during her last year, that she was sure that last year was a punishment for her refusing to go in whenever possible.

I doubt it; God (especially Kage’s God) is not that mean. It was just the way things fell out. And anyway, I sneaked her out three times, so she was hardly a helpless prisoner. She enjoyed the sneaking out: not only because she didn’t want to be in there in the first place, but because I – who have never minded a hospital stay – am slightly notorious in our small circle for going AWOL AMA …

Kage liked getting that achievement badge, too.

Tomorrow, it’s back into the hospital for me; but only on an outpatient basis this time. At least if everything goes as planned. I’ll have to get up early (groan) and report at 8:30, for a 10:00 procedure. And if all goes well, I’ll be home by early afternoon, safe in my lair and my extravagantly comfortable bed.

Just which procedure I’ll be undergoing is still somewhat up in the air. I’ve got 2 sets of admitting instructions, and each ones references a different surgery. This would be shocking to me, except that, while my surgeon seems a fine competent young man, his staff is clearly in left field and missing about half the batted balls – getting my pre-admission tests had me running all over Burbank and Glendale, when any one of the 4 facilities to which they sent me could have done all the needed tests.  So it’s a Surprise Surgery for me tomorrow morning.

One is a cystoscopy, which entails inserting a long tube and various instruments through my urethra and bladder, in order to perform unlikely acts on my ureter and kidney. The other one is a laparoscopic pyeloplasty, which involves a series of itty bitty incisions in my flank, in order to accomplish the same mad-scientist ends. I intend to make my preferences clear before they quite put me under tomorrow. Kimberly will be with me to back me up, thank goodness.

Both procedures are done under a general anesthesia, so I’m voting for the latter one. I’ve had the former and it hurts for days – I’d like to try something else and see if it’s any better. And I hate taking the same dull trip twice over …

I shall be in Verdugo Hills Hospital tomorrow, at least briefly. It’s a lovely and air conditioned place, though sparse on the aquariums to which I have become accustomed. Hopefully, I’ll not wake up thinking my head has been enclosed in one … I’ll send out a message when I’m home; which ought to be hilarious, as I shall be drugged to the eyeballs. (Kimberly will if I am incapable.)

At any rate, Dear Readers – let’s all hope for a renewal of health and energy, and a proper chastisement of my damned right kidney. Excelsior!