Evolution In Writing

Kage Baker was a born story-teller. She revelled in catching and holding the audience, in transporting them to an entirely different world. It was the art and craft she was most proud of practicing.

She loved selling them, too. Not just because she liked the money and wanted to make her living by doing what she loved, but because it was the best way to keep the stories alive as well. Stories want to live, was her belief; they had to evolve and breed to survive. And living things survive better out in the fresh and open air than they do in a closet.

Also, Kage needed to tell her stories. She was compulsive about it. While she did most of her story telling via the printed word – because she could reach a larger audience than she could ever have endured to face in the flesh – she also loved recitation. Those who were lucky enough to share a campfire or a darkened inn yard with her know how she excelled at narration. She was a raconteuse of rare skill, when the fancy took her and she felt secure in her auditors. It was, Kage believed, the oldest and truest way to tell a story.

One her very first editors commented that her style was unusual, in  that it was more suited to stories being told around a fire. It was true; it was also a problem in getting her work sold initially, because it is not a common voice. Especially in science fiction, where a chill and polished metal tone of voice is often preferred. But it was hard to resist, that voice. It resonated with the oldest ears in the human mind, the ancestors who learned to pay attention to the stories told over the evening fire. What you learned, with eyes gleaming in the firelight and ears a’prick with wonder, might be the ultimate truth you needed to survive.

Fairy tales are still the classical repository of that knowledge. Despite well-meaning efforts to divest fairy stories of blood and gore and tragedy and fear, children like them that way: tension, at the very least, has to play a part in the story, or it doesn’t work as well. There’s no real risk in the adventures of Captain Underpants, though they’re undoubtedly good for instilling social self-confidence. But the chance that a wolf or an ogre or a troll might eat you: that grabs your attention. You need to believe that danger lurks in dark places; that step-parents can sometimes be dangerous, and not all strangers mean you well; that princesses can suffer and heroes can die and Happy Ever After can come with an expiration date … these are things kids need to learn.

It’s a matter of life or death. Fairy tales are where kids can practice with these situations and emotions, hopefully before it really is life or death for them. That’s why we still tell them the really old ones.

Recently, a group of linguists – from Durham University in the UK and Lisbon University in Portugal – published a report in the Royal Society Open Science Journal that claims to have traced some a classic fairy tales back through, literally, millennia. They say, for instance, that “The Smith and The Devil” may be 6,000 years old; smiths have been magic as long as men have used iron. “Jack and the Beanstalk” dates to 5,000 years ago; “Beauty and the Beast” and “Rumpelstiltskin” go back 4,000 years.

The study used phylogenetic methods more commonly used by biologists,  to  forensically investigate languages, marriage practices, political institutions, material culture and music. ( http://goo.gl/BF5MFY ) They looked back into Iron and Bronze Age word roots. They back-tracked the oral traditions that the Brothers Grimm and Andrew Lang used, to find the original scary stories. And they are old, old, so freaking, gloriously old

In the meantime, I’ve been thinking hard about the transformation of “Oh, False Young Man!” into a screenplay. Not that I think I would be allowed to write the adaptation, even if my talented and generous friend Jeffrey succeeds in selling the project to someone. However, seeing it in a proper presentation will (theoretically) improve its chances. So, on the advice of another dear friend (the splendid Mr. Tom Barclay), I have enrolled in an online class on screenplay writing. It’s taught by Steven Barnes, a writer of considerable skill and repute; and Art Holcomb,  comic book creator, screenwriter and playwright.

It’s a sort of forced evolution, of both me and the story. I’m very nervous, so I’m gonna sit next to Tom. And I will keep you posted, Dear Readers.

Besides. What Kage liked best about selling her work was that it was like the gypsies selling a horse. You could sell if over and over and over; dye the coat, polish the hooves, gives it blazes and stockings and spots and stripes; you could train it to leave the stable at night and come home to you. And then you could sell it again …

Kage would be delighted. And, I suspect, unsurprised.

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Automata

Kage Baker loved automata.

Her main love was clockwork things – wind up toys fascinated her all her life, and lots of them lived on her desk. (I have a wind-up yellow rook and a translucent squirrel on the desk right now.) When she was a kid, her tastes ran to wind-up robots and little metal dogs that did somersaults when wound up tight. She had a smoking donkey of which she was very fond, too; but I think modern morals have rendered those extinct.

Her favourite character in The Wizard of Oz was TikTok – the stalwart and virtuous Clockwork Man, imbued with common sense and bravery in the face of his own physical limitations (his spring was always winding down at awkward moments). Disney gave him an especially charming embodiment in Return to Oz, including beautiful lambent sea-blue eyes; Kage originally put him on the roof of the Emporium in Empress of Mars.

C3PO was, obviously, her favourite character in Star Wars.

She collected stories and photos of the automata of old; all those chess-playing robotic Moors – occasionally powered by clockwork, and occasionally by dwarves – and disembodied calligraphy-dispensing hands. Singing nightingales, crowing roosters, egg-laying ducks; blossoming plants, fountains of jewels and silk threads and wine: if it wound up and moved, Kage loved it. Player pianes, preferably with robotic piano players. All those maidens who sang and simpered and eerily applied makeup. All those medieval clocks, too, where Death and assorted burghers and woodland animals come out and dance for the hours; those fascinated her. The Delacorte Clock at the Zoo in Central Park – even though it runs on electricity.

Heron of Alexandria, in Kage’s opinion, was one of the finest mathematicians and engineers the world ever produced: because he built things that worked. Automata, moving set pieces, water dispensers, flying gods, levitating statues – Heron built special effect for the religious industry with such zeal and fervour that Kage could never decide if he was a mutant or a rogue Operative. She never settled on a story for him, because the field of his endeavours was so broad. And he did it without clockwork! Weights, levers, pulleys, pins and gears were all he had.

The Musee Mechanique in San Francisco, which is presently housed at Pier 45, was a place Kage visited whenever she could. There are automata there, of course, including Laughing Mabel, a life-sized fishwife who howls with manic glee. It also has a series of detailed clockwork pieces illustrating Hell, the Dungeons of the Inquisition, a racetrack, an opium den and a farm, and – Kage’s utter favourite mis en scene – “A Message From The Sea”, wherein vaguely Spanish military officers at an elegant ball are recalled to duty by an arriving messenger in a dinghy … she could stare at those things for hours.

Or at least until we ran out of change. They so enthralled her that several scenes in the Company novels and stories include scenes based on them, notably the Hugo-nominated novella “Son, Observe the Hour”. Kage studied the opium den for a couple of dollars’ worth of nickels to get that one set in her mind.

She loved the racetracks with little painted metal horses, too, as well as the  steel skeleton of a galloping horse there.

This fascination with automata was a little weird, since she had nightmares from childhood of waking to find clockwork beneath her own skin. I guess knowledge defeated the demons – the more she learned about clockwork, automata and robots, the less fearful she became. She finally laid the bogie to rest with her invention of the cyborg Operatives – although only after she reluctantly abandoned the idea of making them, too, run on clockwork. And I must admit, she had some hilarious ideas for where the keys went …

She satisfied that urge with the story “Oh, False Young Man!”, wherein the putative hero is an ingenious automaton. I’ve recently been asked to consider trying my hand at converting this one to a screen-play, an idea which appeals to me a great deal – though I’m not quite sure how to do that. We shall see. I may need to take a class or read a book or beg a friend for help.

In the meantime, I persist in soldiering on, at varying speeds and levels of success. I recently saw a photograph that pretty much sums up my condition right now: a sign on a vending machine that is still functional, if not obviously so …light inside

Takes a licking – keeps on ticking. It’s automatic.

 

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Migraine

Kage Baker suffered from migraines. So do I.

She got them from too much sugar, bright sunlight, fatigue, general bad vibes and (she claimed) wearing quartz crystals. I have no idea what triggers mine. For all I know, I get them when Mercury is retrograde – whenever that is, I’m not sure. But I get them in my sleep as well as while awake (the black and silver thorn patterns that show up in my dreams are diagnostic) and I know I don’t go out and roll in quartz crystals in my sleep.

Kage suffered because they hurt her badly, and she couldn’t read or write when she had them. I suffer because mine don’t hurt, and so I try to tough them out. When that happens, I make mistakes in whatever I am doing. I lose my place in books, type badly, knit like a spider on LSD …

I’ve deleted this entry  completely twice, and partially three times: all by accident. I had all sorts of interesting migraine trivia to share, as well as various amusing anecdotes – but alas! All those lands lie under the wave. Which is black and silver and spiky, and getting higher.

I’m going to go take several feverfew capsules (feverfew is cool) with very strong coffee, and lie down with my head in a pillow.

We will resume tomorrow.

 

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Things That Are Distracting Me Today

Kage Baker was intensely involved in distractions.

On the one hand, she hated them, with an impressive score on the proverbial thousand-suns heat register. She freely admitted that No, she probably couldn’t chew gum and walk at the same time – so she damned well couldn’t write in the same room as a party. Confronted with a living room full of guests when she was engaged at her computer, Kage often just decamped to her bedroom with her laptop. All your friends and relatives at once – which is what you tend to accumulate on a summer weekend at the beach – are harder to intimidate into silence than your sister and one parrot.

On the other hand, Kage felt that distractions should be used by the discerning writer. They were brief sabbaticals, little bubbles in the stream of consciousness where new ideas could proliferate and spawn. They could lead to vital ideas, and new areas to explore – and she made a habit of scheduling time to succumb, and also of stockpiling proven distractions for use as rewards, goads, and wrenches to reverse creative polarity.

On the other other hand – no one was ever better than Kage Baker at justifying the need to play a new game or watch a favourite movie for 4,379th time.

Whatever, she was, surprisingly, more at ease with being distracted than I find myself to be. I can still be knocked right off the intellectual track by a wee little splinter on the rails; or tempted into the high brush by a new book.

For your amusement, Dear Readers – and as a Public Safety Warning – here are things currently generating static and boiling in my head. Some of them will be from whence  ideas are born.

http://goo.gl/PY6A3    Kage adored lost, unknown, mythological and outright untrue islands. This is a brief history of Dubious Lands. A lot of Company activity takes place there.

http://goo.gl/gj90nD  Many entries in the first printing of the Oxford English Dictionary – that divine amalgam of etymology and brick-building – were compiled by a barking insane conspiracy theorist while he was serving a life sentence for murder. Ways to make your hobbies pay, Dear Readers. And spend a mortal lifetime on a project behind bars: not all Operatives have all their gaskets tight.

http://goo.gl/5OrneU   A couple of ladies survived being stranded for a long time in their car, mostly with the assistance of an amply supply of Girl Scout Cookies. They have to be Operatives. Thin Mints Rule!

http://goo.gl/XplqRs   It’s Californian, it was considered extinct but has been found again, and it likes the night life: there is a story here, I know there is. “Night of the Island Night Lizard”, maybe.

http://io9.com/one-of-those-rare-moments-when-a-small-thing-gives-you-472733410/all Remember Black Earth, from Kage’s novella “To The Land Beyond The Sunset”? This little company is making it for sale. A Company project? Someone’s Retirement Plan? An illustration of Kage’s theory that only profit gets people to try redemptive new technologies.

https://www.croptrust.org/what-we-do/svalbard-global-seed-vault/  This is the public face of the Vaults where the Company keeps the fruits, seeds and nuts of its botany Operatives. You can take a virtual tour. I need to research Norwegian, Icelandic and Inuit cuisine …

On the repeating theme of calendars, here are calendar cufflinks. I want to give these to someone who can pretend they are the controls of a time machine.

Pele’s Tears are volcanic glass tear drops produced by Hawaiian volcanoes. But sometimes, they are hollow glass balls. Fish floats? Netsuki of the goddess? Volcano seeds? The possibilities are fascinating.

Hollow Pele's tear found at Halema`uma`u overlook. Erupted following January 8, 0351 explosive event triggered by rockfall.

Hollow Pele’s tear found at Halema`uma`u overlook. Erupted following January 8, 0351 explosive event triggered by rockfall.

http://nerdapproved.com/misc-weirdness/3d-printed-trilobites/  Thank you, Neassa, for providing me with this link! Someone has begun 3-d printing trilobites in brass, bronze, steel, silver – they are gorgeous. Everyone needs one. And I suspect that somewhere, someone with a nice little cottage on the shore of a warm sea is breeding scads of the real ones for the day the Company releases them and revolutionizes the seafood industry. I can see it now – ‘Bites and Chips!

printed trilobites

So there you go, Dear Readers. Not only am I passing on the viral ideas that are infecting my brain (like a good host), I can claim virtuous behaviour by having to come up with story ideas to use them. Plus, I get a blog written; plus that very blog serves as story notes for all of them!

This probably earns me a couple of hours reading Terry Pratchett novels. I’m re-reading them all in order, from the beginning. It stirs my soul and my imagination, and makes me feel simultaneously happy and dutiful.  What could be better. Right?

Right.

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I Have A Plan

Kage Baker loved plans. She made plans constantly. She had plans for everything. And when a plan got going really well, she added a list. Then she was completely ready to get to work.

This approach made most of the tasks of daily living run smoothly and easily. Kage had a sequential plan for getting up – a particular order in which she managed accomplishing herself for the day. It could not be altered without coming to pieces, though: if she had to hurry, the whole sequence collapsed. I learned early that the only way to make sure she  did get out of the house on time was to lie to her about what time it was – and she could deal with that, even when she finally twigged to the fact that the clocks in her room, the kitchen and the car were all 10 minutes fast. Just so long as I didn’t try to make her trim a few minutes of getting dressed …

And she was a snappy dresser, too. Her shoes were always clean and shining; her stockings matched her panties. She had an entire wardrobe of camisoles. Even when she mostly wore jeans and T-shirts, only certain shirts went with certain jeans. It depended on how faded the jeans were, in what shade of indigo; and how the T-shirt matched it chromatically. Her formal clothes were always impeccable. Kage even dressed nicely to go to radiation and chemo in her last year.

I, however, am a slob. Actually, I aspire to be a slob – I can’t usually get interested enough in my clothes to care. Twelve years in Catholic school uniform left Kage with a burning desire for tailoring, bias cuts and silk. It left me with the conviction that if I’m not breaking the decency laws, I’m good. It’s not illegal, after all, to look like a burst pillow.

I don’t even lay my clothes out the night before, personally. It’s always 52 Pick Up when I get dressed – unless Kage picked out my outfits. The only reason I ever looked decent at work was because she and Kimberly bought and curated my clothes. Mind you, I can get dressed and out of the front door in less than 10 minutes – but like as not I’m carrying my shoes, my socks don’t match (or even exist) and my nightgown is still on under my sweatshirt and tucked into my pants. Which are probably flannel in a loud plaid.

But I really am trying for a more organized personal habit this year. Kage had special clothes for writing, specific shirts and pants and socks and shoes designed to keep her warm and comfortable at the computer for 10 hours. I am earnestly trying to achieve my own version of this, by determinedly getting dressed every day – it’s been far too easy the last several months to spend the day in a nightgown, wrapped in a blanket pinned about me with a costume cloak brooch …

You see, Dear Readers, all my clothes for the last 40 years have been costumes. Costumes for work, for grocery shopping, for performance at Faires, for after hours at Faires – whole different fashion ethic for that, obviously. Now I have costumes for retired slob at home, for retired middle-aged, middle-class lady going shopping, for long-distance car trips. I don’t have a writing costume; although I do have a writing hat, which is unspeakably cool and elegant:

My best attempt at a writing costume, though, is just being in recognizable day wear. So I can run an errand, if I just take off the smoking cap, put on shoes and grab my purse, and not look quite like an advert for the Salvation Army store down the street.

As part of the same effort, I now have a plan for getting up and ready for the day, too. It’s a formalized sequence of events, instead of the react-to-whatever-ambushes-you routine I’ve usually employed – that might see me not making it in to brush my teeth until after I’ve shared yoghurt with the parrot, gotten half my clothes on, answered the first 6 URGENT emails, run out of half & half for my coffee and run out to get it, found socks, made the bed, unmade the bed to find the socks I buried in it and gotten the cat off my keyboard – more or less simultaneously.

So far, 13 days into 2016, it’s working. My desk is covered with notes, but it’s working. It’s kind of peaceful to know in advance what – and whether – I’m planning to have for breakfast. There’s a pleasant tranquility to not be waiting for sudden panicked revelations to explode out of my subconscious during the day.

Anyway, it’s a new year. Trying a new plan keeps one going.

 

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The Pride Before the Fall

Kage Baker was a menace to her own computer system.

I’ve recounted this many times, I know. Kage appreciated the heck out of her computer, but she just had no instinctive feelings for the use of the machine. Every time something changed – new OS, new game, expanding a file or adding a drive or (panic stations time!) getting a new computer … well, Kage came unstuck.

She kept careful instructions on how to do anything she might ordinarily need, and she followed those instructions faithfully. When any one of them was altered, it blew the entire system for her. A horrible cascade effect occurred: every L/R, U/D, Y/N decision escaped her and brought down all the vital associations she had attached to it. And as it turned out, Kage had associated things I had no idea could be attached to one another … sometimes literally. She had an inhumanly deft knack for inventing macro commands, whereby some combination of keystrokes undreamed-of even by the top level wonks at Microsoft was enabled.

Those were the occasions when she  erased entire documents, or converted the current font to Wingdings, or inserted large, empty, coloured boxes hither and yon in the text. Once, she called me over to ask that I please get rid of the underlining that was appearing under every other line in her document. She had no idea how it had gotten there, or how to get rid of it.

I’d usually ask her to go read or watch telly or play a game on the laptop, while I tried to undo whatever had happened. It was no use demonstrating it to poor Kage afterwards, either: the topic literally made her eyes unfocus and her head ache. She’d put her hands over her hears and sing “La,la,la!” when I tried to show her how drop-down menus worked. She took a solemn vow to never download anything unless I was right beside her.  Luckily, Kage was as suspicious of anything online telling her to do something as she was of people trying it; it was natural for her to remember to just refuse all cybernetic blandishments.

I had to remove Microsoft Word somewhere around version 6, I think, because Kage simply could not decipher the new format or tool bars. (I didn’t blame her – that version sucked.) Luckily, Open Office became available just as she lost all patience;  for the rest of her life, she used that, with great comfort and relief.

Windows 10 would have driven Kage to violence.

In particular, she’d have hated its insistence on downloading updates without permission. I rather hate it myself … no matter what I enable or deny, it keeps finding ways to download changes and then demand I install them. Furthermore, it won’t tell me what the hell they are – a problem, Dear Readers, with which I am certain you are all horribly familiar. It was bad enough with Windows 8, where you had to track down the definitions for the updates online: at least I could see what they were. Now … I could be downloading the operating system for the Circles of Hell, for all I know.

And do you know what happens, Dear Readers, if you just refuse to install them? After several tries and much pleading, Windows refuses to start up until you let it install the damned upgrades. Sometimes, just to be contrary, upgrading other, non-Microsoft programs gives Windows 10 dyslexia, or a lisp, or transient ischemic attacks … the last time I upgraded Adobe, the Start menu on Windows 10 refused to respond to mouse commands until I deleted the upgrade. Oh, and the bottom toolbar disappeared, too.

Anyway – while I normally know my way around my system pretty well, I am occasionally blindsided; even without Kage converting half a document into Cyrillic. I mean, it happens to all of us sooner or later. “User friendly” is a paradise aspired to, not a level you can expect to install on your daily desktop …

So. Last night, I deleted all my incoming emails.

Now, my incoming mail is separated into several categories as it arrives. And I tag it and sort it into several, other, permanent folders. And of course I trash some of it. Somehow, last night, I ordered all 1,200-odd pieces in my Inbox to be Archived at once – and they all vanished. They were scattered through more than a dozen different categories, and some of them weren’t labelled at all: Papa Legba only knows where those untagged babies went! I’m still digging for all the properly labelled ones.

Some of them went to the appropriate folders. Some didn’t. Some went to folders I had no idea existed until today. Some went places I can find, but I can’t tell why they went there; I’m anxiously examining them in detail to see what weird thing I used to label them in the first place. From a complacent, professional competency, I have been reduced to a gibbering pilgrim through the Dark Unknown Lands of my own hard drives.

There is one consolation, though. Somewhere, I just know, Kage is laughing her ass off.

 

 

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Stepping Out For A Moment

Kage Baker loved David Bowie.

I mean, who didn’t? He was amazing. Last night he died, after a long illness which he kept an absolute secret. He managed to hit the mark of his own birthday, and release a last album for the rest of us. The Internet is filled to overflowing with heartfelt grief and brilliant memorials; I have no words to add. Go check Simon Pegg, he said the best so far.

I found out Bowie was dead as I was reeling from another unexpected revelation. I was staring at an old photo my niece Katie posted on my Facebook page – a photo of Kage holding Katie for her christening. (Kage was Katie’s godmother.) The photo was taken in the shadowed side chapel of Blessed Sacrament Church in Hollywood, and Kage was 31 years old. I don’t think I’ve seen it since the day it was taken.

Pictures of Kage when she was young have occasionally been requested of me. I have very few. Katie is apparently going through family photos, though, so … here is Kage in 1983.

Kage approx age 31Time is too much for me today. I’m gonna step out for a drink, and a smoke, and a cry.

See you later, Dear Readers.

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Calendar It

Kage Baker liked calendars. They were a form of art that pleased her with their formality, and their sequential nature. When they were well done and paid attention to their advertised themes, they slowly unveiled a broad vision of a year. That pleased her. She said they were like very slow motion animation.

She always went carefully calendar hunting in December or January. She’d pore through entire racks of them, looking for a subject that stirred her. Then she’d check June – her own birth month – to make sure it was a good picture. If June wasn’t up to her expectations, she’d reject the entire calendar.

Puppies, kittens, bunnies and other fuzzy creatures were automatic NOs; Kage’s tolerance for cute was pathologically low. Maritime subjects – lighthouses or ships or islands – were always possibilities. Had she been able to find a calendar from pirate movies, it would have been her favourite, as long as June showed something cool like the Sack of Cartagena. Or maybe that opening vignette from the Pirates of the Caribbean ride, where you enter the burning town under the cannon fire on both sides …

Calendars from book illustrators were what Kage most preferred – she adored illustrations, and always looked first for calendars by the artists she’d loved in books: people like Maxfield Parrish (fantasy), Howard Pyle (pirates),  N.M. Bodecker (Edward Eager books),  Paul Kidby (Discworld), That last is Paul Kidby, mind – not Josh Kirby, who did the original British Discworld covers, and whose art Kage thought was, ahem, rather vulgar. Too many buttocks.

When we were teenagers, Tolkien calendars were madly popular. Although it wasn’t Kage’s favourite fantasy, she often picked them because of the exemplary artists who illustrated them: Pauline Baynes, the Brothers Hildebrandt, Professor Tolkien himself – and, Kage’s utter favourite, Tim Kirk. She loved his water colour of Orcs in the rain, The Road to Minas Tirith, so much that it hung on our wall for years.

She only kept the one page from that calendar. But a couple of others she not only kept, but re-used: they hung on the wall every year, ceremoniously turned to January. Every 7 years or so, the dates worked out again. There was the 1993 Narnia calendar, with illustrations by Pauline Baynes; the 2000 Vermeer calendar, following her obsession with his work while researching the story “Standing In His Light”. Her favourite of all time was the 1969 Yellow Submarine calendar, with the Peter Max-inspired scenes from the movie. I still have it – held together with varieties of tape now extinct in the wild, stained with paint, diverse colas, wines both cheap and rare …

Kage was very fond of the year 1969. Her other Beatles memorabilia are in excellent shape, as she cherished them. But that calendar got The Velveteen Rabbit treatment, and has been loved almost to bits. It’s safely in storage now. It’ll be in synch again in 2025.

This being January, it’s time to get your calendar, of course. If you haven’t already. I’m notorious for forgetting, probably because Kage and Kimberly have always been so precise about it. But the last several years, I’ve indulged in desk calendars of knitting patterns. I’m no artist, but I’m a textile freak. Every couple of days there’s a new pattern, and I can keep them for reference afterwards, in tidy little boxes. It’s handy, and sensible, and useful. The date hardly matters to me, but I’ve got 2,000-odd patterns stored away now for some amazing projects – a treasury of potential creativity for one of the few arts at which I have ever excelled.

Marking the days with fantasy and adventure was Kage’s thing. So except when I am living in her world – I’ll mark my days with socks.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Flowers, Fruits and Nuts. And Squash.

Kage Baker was an avid gardener. “Avid” is exactly the right word, too. She had extremely personal, emotional relationships with her gardens and with her plants; she went over seed catalogs the way some women look at jewelry or designer kitchens. She admired the vast panoramas of wilderness and national parks – but her heart belonged to formal gardens: tiles and hedges and pleached fruit trees, and perfumed chambers walled with roses and cypress trees.

She grew heritage roses and apples, rare tulips, tiny old-fashioned hyacinths. She planted Lakota squash (a staple of the Sioux people), and heritage tomatoes – Pink Berkeley Tie Dyes and Large Barred Boars. And of course, she grew corn: Stowell’s Evergreen sweet corn (1873),  Sweet Gentlemen corn (1890) Sabina’s Rainbow Pink corn (age unknown; it’s Peruvian!). She grew teosinte one year, which is the astonishingly runty original corn, and ruined the food processor trying to grind the rock-hard kernels for flour. And she grew Glass Gems corn, which is more or less Mendoza’s corn:

Mendoza corn (2)It’s best as popcorn or corn flour, but you can eat it when it’s fresh and soft, just like any other corn. It’s good, too, though it doesn’t have the complete spectrum of nutrients that Mendoza’s super grain will …

You can find most of these goodies at Baker Creek Heirloom Seeds, BTW:

http://www.rareseeds.com/

The Lakota squash was also an heirloom, and quite tasty. And today, I found out that a formerly extinct squash has been found, under the most romantic of circumstances, and will be available as seeds in 2016! It was found in a clay jar, buried in Wisconsin – 800 year old seeds, that enterprising archeology students planted and nurtured. They’ve named it Gete Okosomin, which pretty much means “Really Cool Old Squash”, and it’s enormous!

old squash

http://www.sciencedump.com/content/extinct-squash-has-been-grown-800-year-old-seeds

Kage loved antique flowers, as well. She adored David Austin’s retro vintage roses, especially Wenlock (which should be familiar to you, Dear Readers, as the name of the sorcerer in The Hotel Under The Sand). She searched for and found Roman hyacinths: small, pale blue, single blooming, but with a scent that was a palpable cloud of delight. And she went nuts over tulips – the older, more fringed, more dagged, more virally striped and spotted, the better.

Mendoza is a botanist because Kage grew up in her mother’s terraced gardens on a slope of the Cahuenga Pass. She grew apple trees from seed, in pots on the roof outside her window; she made exploding wine from the Concord grapes, and canned pounds of apricots. She was one of those industrious children with a watering can that Mendoza marvels over in her early years.

The garden went up at a 45 degree angle in front, bisected by 50-odd red steps; it sloped more gradually down in back, fenced with enormous eucalyptus and dotted with toys, playhouses and forts. The front was a sea of roses, irises, fruit trees and blue agapanthus; the back held a bare dirt round we called “the Druid circle”: it was where the swimming pool went every summer. Kage spent her childhood in trees, under hedges, on roofs; reading and eating fruit off the trees and making bows out of eucalyptus saplings. (I learned how to fletch arrows with the leathery fallen leaves.)

Kage would have made a good botanist, too. She kept track of what she planted, and noted the yearly yields and changes. In Northern California, she experimented with ceanothus (deer candy, it’s sometimes called; or California lilac) to find out which variety the deer liked best, to prevent them from eating our laundry off the clothes line.  In Pismo, she quite deliberately bred the nasturtiums that popped up everywhere to produce a distinctive wine-red blossom, and then spread it all over town. And everywhere we lived, Kage left behind red and white roses, apple trees, night-blooming jasmine …

I don’t know if Kage’s researches went farther because she was constantly building Mendoza, or if she built Mendoza to those specs because she herself was happiest in a garden. Even when she was attached symbiotically to her computer, the windows were open to the breath of her garden, warm on the back of her neck. The whole interlacing spiral of cause and/or effect was the best example of how Kage lived in and for her stories, and made them real while she wrote them.

As she always claimed, she was remembering much more than composing when she wrote. When she composed … it was in leaf and blossom.

animated-rose-image-0040
A GARDEN is a lovesome thing, God wot!
Rose plot,
Fringed pool,
Fern’d grot—
The veriest school
Of peace; and yet the fool
Contends that God is not—
Not God! in gardens! when the eve is cool?
Nay, but I have a sign;
‘Tis very sure God walks in mine.

                            Thomas Edward Brown

 

 

 

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Circumstances Beyond Control

Kage Baker was particularly susceptible to respiratory infections.

Everyone has a special weak point, anatomically. Maybe you get bitten by every spider and insect that ventures by; maybe fruit always turns on you; maybe you attract semi-sentient pollen determined to melt your brain. Maybe you have a trick knee, a weak back, a tragic predilection to being alcohol-absorbent.

Kage had badly-wired bronchi. She had bronchitis several times a year until she finally had her tonsils out at the advanced age of 31. Along the way, she’d also flirted with sub-acute pneumonia, bronchiectatis (that’s where your bronchial tree become deciduous and sheds), and sinus infections so severe she ended up hospitalized. Once, the ER people at the hospital tried to get us to name the man who had beaten Kage up – because the infection was so bad, her sinuses were showing bruises on the outside of her face. Once, she ended up with a sinus abscess knocking at the ivory door behind her eyes, the one that led to her brain …

The abscess lost. It took a tumour to get through that fortress. But in the meantime, Kage was prey for decades to every respiratory infection that hove on the horizon. But she got used to it. She had her coping mechanisms, her Nyquil, her hot toddies …

I never did that. I have, apparently, lungs of iron. Kidneys of tissue paper, but lungs of iron. Not even smoking a pipe for 30 years made any difference. I seldom caught a cold, I could go years without influenza. Until this last year … now I catch everything, and have no defenses at all. I had a cold sore for the first time since kindergarten this winter!

Last year’s flu shot was guaranteed for only 1 of the 4 strains going around; I caught the other 3, one after the other. This year, I got the super-duper heavily-reinforced flu shot with Kryptonite and adamantium, and have so far been spared influenza. So what happens? I catch a cold. An old-fashioned, drippy, sticky, achy rhinovirus.

This is a particular kind of hell when you use a CPAP; you could freaking drown in your sleep. If you don’t, you’ll wish you had when you wake up in your own mini-aquarium full of mucus. When you sneeze – and you will sneeze, dozens of times in a row – you can blow the mask off your face. And because it’s attached to your head with little bungee cords, it then snaps back like a weaponized bra strap and whacks you right between the eyes: SPANNNG!

In case you haven’t guessed, Dear Readers, I have a cold. It seems to have developed in the wake of the recent rain. Also, I went out in the dampness to move my car – we live in one of those neighborhoods where you have to switch sides once a week or the street sweepers get you – and discovered the battery had died in the cold and wet. So I had to get up at o’dark thirty today and call AAA for a jump. It worked, the car is alive, I was spared a ticket: but I’ve felt like someone filled my head with cheap apple sauce and my bones with hot sand ever since.

Hence this lengthy whinge. It’s all to explain why I can’t write. All it really demonstrates, of course, is that I can’t come up with anything original or creative – however, my native over-abundance of verbose adjectives and warped metaphors is perfectly functional. I absolutely flow with description, a veritable king tide of adverbs and similes. And snot.

But, damn it, I will post a blog tonight!

 

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