Kage Baker loved heat. But she was nuts.
Whenever summer reaches the inhuman levels of heat – as it is presently doing in Los Angeles – it comes clear to me that Kage was insane. Even before the days when my metabolism short-circuited if the temperature got over 80 degrees, I wondered about it. I was so miserable in the heat, and she was so happy! Triple digit heat, and Kage’s solution was to put on a silk pajama top and pin her hair up. Even more frustratingly, it always worked for her!
I don’t think she even usually sweated. Not like me. I start deliquesing when it gets hot; which is an interesting phenomenon when observed in exotic salts, but grotesque in a human being. Kage just glowed like metal in a forge. I suspected she might, if it got hot enough, either dissolve into white-hot droplets or simply burst into flames: but it would never be, you know – sticky.
After a mild July and August, Los Angeles has begun its annual end-of-summer heat wave. The temperature is into the 90’s, and expected to stay that way for several days. I have changed into nocturnal mode, observing the heat and light from the safe side of the windows. I wander from fan to fan, clutching my spray bottle/fan combo, flinching like a vampire playing chicken with the daylight.
In fact, it’s too damned hot to write. My writing hat is sticking to my brow. I shall regale you all, Dear Readers, with my amusing adventures in Nuclear Medicine later on – there were some interesting moments – probably late tonight, when I can sit in the cool (er) darkness and write for a while without melting on the keyboard.
For now I’m just hitting my mark, in a heat-exhausted effort to maintain the bare vestiges of discipline. Most of you are probably in similar shape … go drink iced tea or cold beer; eat frozen grapes and get into the Magnum ice cream bars. Sit as close to your fans and A/C as you can, and try to stay cool.
I think Kage was maybe part dragon. Or something like a cactus dryad. Me, I’m more like a Jello salad …