Kage Baker really did believe that the 3rd day of an injury was the worst. She believed that – as a natural follow through of this axiom – days 4 and following would therefore be better.
I tried to tell her that better was not the same as easier, but apparently for Kage, they were. She certainly always acted as though they were; she was undeniably more cheerful after Day 3. She wasn’t faking, either: those 3 days were the worst, even in the face of fatal diseases. And after 3 days, Kage would actually, factually be happier. And she did not understand why someone else might not be.
“But it’s been three days,” she would assure me, as if I had somehow lost track of the time; as if I would feel tons better if I just applied myself. Instead, I would slink off into a corner, growling like a wolf bitch with a tooth ache. Kage would bring me a nice glass of lemonade, eventually.
Anyway, by that miraculous 3rd day, I generally still feel like a broken egg; a faded plastic lighter with fractal traces of lighter fluid; a pile of dog side-effects.
Today, Dear Readers, is Day 4 of my shoulder fracture. And sure enough, just as per the Reformed Revealed Word of Kage, I feel like a dogshit omelette, cooked (like cheap heroin), over the guttering flame of a broken lighter.
Which is why I won’t be writing more than this little bit of tired, self-indulgent graffiti tonight. I ache, my shoulder is a mass of raw nervous tissue, two of my toes are broken and turning colours, my right biceps is swollen and turning black, I broke my glasses and got a shiner falling into the cat tower. And I don’t see the orthopedist until 3:30 tomorrow.
So I am feeling sorry for myself and will continue to be so until at least tomorrow afternoon. I hate my humerus and feel it definitely let down the side by fracturing like a cheap piece of plastic.
But than that, things are pretty good. I’ll let you all know tomorrow what my patient ortho guy has to say.
At least I got a chance to wash the Cheetos off.
Oh, you poor thing, you!
All the best for the orthopod visit. Hope he has good news for you. Broken bones do take time to heal, however. Feeling like an eggshit doglighter in the meantime is allowed.
I am so sorry to read the list of injuries. While you are stuck there sitting, may I recommend Stephen Fry’s Mythos. He has a most wonderful reading style and the book is quite entertaining. I found it on youtube if it is not on Audible yet. Good luck with the various aches, pains and miseries
Sending warm healing thoughts….