Kage Baker was an intensely private person. It’s how she managed to conceal, for almost a year, the condition that was finally diagnosed as late stage uterine cancer. It was a foolish choice, that modesty; but Kage did the best she could with the hand she was dealt. I never heard her blame anyone for the fact that her cancer won. The last year of her life was marked more than anything else by good humour, patience, fortitude and determination.
She left her stories to me to tell after she was gone, which I have been endeavouring to do. I’ve never intended this blog to be a soap box, or a diary, or a private stage. It’s not about me, except as I was -and am – part of Kage’s unique and still-evolving world. She’s still telling the tales she originally came up with through a lifetime of summer afternoons and long drives. She’s just telling them through the notes and fragments she left behind. And I just focus them through the facets of our very odd shared life.
Occasionally, of course, my own life does interfere – I mean, power failures, illness, cats lairing somewhere in the computer system – these are things that happen in the present; they inevitably get wound into what I write here. Kage took her inspirations from reality; a somewhat subjective one, I admit, but still – she wrote what she saw. And, trained by her, so do I.
Reality sometimes turns downright crappy, though, Dear Readers. Tomorrow I must get up early – which is bad enough on a Monday – for a doctor’s appointment. This is because, despite my advancing years and very definite post-menopausal condition, my body seems to have lost track of the time. It thinks I should be menstruating. Since I know I shouldn’t, and since I have no more modesty than a cat, and since I learned a dreadful lesson from Kage – I will be off to submit to a biopsy.
Dear Readers, you have been very patient with my foibles and occasional collapses as Kage’s amenuensis. I’m not asking for attention here, not even kind thoughts – just letting you know that I am feeling a bit stressed and may not have much to say for a few days.
On the other hand, I may babble my brains out. Who knows? I don’t. But I’ll return to this as soon as I can.
Talk to you all later –